Quarterly Check-In (months later)
I have to laugh. The way I planned this blog versus how it is turning out is completely different. In the typical creative process, I had a mini frustrated walk-away moment, and now I am re-inspired, so we will see what happens.
So, a mini update since I haven’t touched this blog since last year. I am tired (like I normally am), amid a transition (because what is consistency?), have been let go from a job (again, but less traumatic), had a few fortunate timing situations (shoutout to timing not leaving me homeless), and I am simply questioning a lot about myself. We love a little unclear oversharing moment. You’re welcome.
Now onto the inspiring moment. I am currently working at the bookstore. And I was deep in my feelings, feeling bad for myself. A lot of waffling and pitying are happening while reading and doom-scrolling (I have to delete these apps). And in comes a lady who happens to be a poet.
The more you read my posts, the more you'll recognize that I love to spot those “weird” moments that “coincidentally” relate to my situations and may not be coincidental, but rather a needed reminder or insight. And our poet did just that.
Unfortunately, I don’t remember the poems, but the first one was called “Seasoned Women.” As I sat and listened to her recite her poem from memory, I was awash with relief. Maybe it was evident on my face, but I needed the reminder. The reminder that even in the midst of confusion, my identity remains unwavering. Those who know me know me, and those who don’t do not define me. That, as I figure out my next steps and even my next meal, the speed is okay. My past goals and definitions of success that I have been unable to accomplish no longer need to hold me captive. There is space for growth and change, and I can sit in that.
Okay, sooooo I guess I never finished my thoughts. But I’m near an airport coffee shop and finally got WiFi to work, so I am feeling inspired with about 20 minutes left before I board.
It’s funny. I wrote this early this year and remember pausing because a customer came in and we yapped. And now months later, I have gone through job loss twice, and a dramatic no, and ya girl has cried. When I tell you this SEASON is testing me. The question is, “How will I grow from it?”
I won’t lie, I want to whine, complain, and compare. Then I realize, even amid everything, constantly shifting and feeling like it is blowing up in my face, God has been faithful. Friends, your girl still scrounges up enough to pay rent, and a girl’s hang still hates (loves) to see me coming.
So, now that we are a month into Q3, here are the hopes/goals:
Make and stick to a budget.
Get a job.
Prioritize opportunities for deep belly laughs with people who make me feel safe and secure.
Do things alone.
Learn how to DJ.
Throw a killer house party.
Journal.
Schedule an appointment with my counselor. (hehe whoops)
Save money towards my Beyoncé in Paris fund.
Throw a cutie dinner party.
Plan a fun bookstore event.
Post more than twice a year.
Post this blog.
Talk to you all v soon!